Daily Performance & Subpersonalities
How many roles are you stepping into everyday? Do you notice when you’re switching from being a colleague at work, a brother or daughter at a family dinner, or a supportive friend?
We as humans are unique in our multifaceted ways of navigating through different situations in life. In this article I would like to dive deeper into how this self-awareness might help optimize our day to day.
In coaching these forms of uniqueness are described as subpersonalities and can be seen as different aspects of ourselves which are switched on, drawn out, or slip out based on our situation. For example, “Let me through, I’m a doctor”, “I’m Anna’s Mom”, and one I think many of us relate easily to ‘The morning alarm is blaring an hour before usual because I told myself I’d go out for a run before work, but…my pillow is making a convincing argument for me to stay in bed!’. Highlighting these examples one can imagine the multitudes of subpersonalities we have and how they interact, clash and communicate with each other throughout the day. All of which come with different characteristics, implications and needs which ultimately show us the wide range of resources we can tap into.
The first example ‘Doctor’ highlights your ‘occupation’ which can include characteristics of you being organized, action-oriented, maintaining a form of urgency and ‘……’ (fill in the blank). The second example ‘parent’ highlights characteristics of being supportive, responsible and ‘…..’ (fill in the blank). Then the third example features two subpersonalities coexisting, the ‘ambitious-self’ (driven, focused) and the ‘comfortable-self’(easeful, cozy) which are now clashing with each other. In this last example, you can argue that you simply just need to get out of bed when you tell yourself to get out of bed, and you’re not wrong.
Nonetheless, I’d like to share another approach which is perhaps more full and conducive for generating long-term peak performance, namely identifying competing needs. In terms of knowing what needs are in motion, a good start is by first identifying them. So without further ado, please fill in the blanks for the run/snooze situation below:
*07:00 alarm rings* I know I want to get out of bed because running will satisfy my need for (……), however, this pillow is damn comfy and laying in bed would satisfy my need for (……).
Having identified your needs. The second question is regarding integration and negotiation. In a seven day week is it possible to manage both needs? I’ll help you out and give you the answer, Yes! However, you need to decide how to integrate them. If you are able to frame your approach with regard to balancing needs you are able to set out an all-encompassing structure that takes into account your competing needs. You might have tried a similar process previously by deciding you’ll go running three times a week and snoozing four times a week, and perhaps reached a successful outcome. By investing in such a dialog with yourself you are actively able to notice what needs are momentarily driving you and be aware of if this need is serving you. This awareness is helpful as it allows you to preemptively manage your subpersonalities to best serve you.
As always, this process is not a short-one and takes time to develop and understand (plus it doesn’t help that we’re always evolving!). Ultimately, all these subpersonalities make up who you are, and I’m not expecting you to analyze each moment of your day, however the key is to notice when the needs compete with each other and engage with them easefully to improve daily performance and satisfaction.
The purpose of this article is to highlight the idea that you have different subpersonalities coming and going throughout the day, all of which carry their own characteristics useful for different parts of your day. Now at this point if you’re honest to yourself and do really want the change but have had difficulty doing so, it’s worth looking at what stopped you in the first place.
If this article resonated with you, comment, share or send me a direct message and let’s have an interesting conversation.
